The Caribbean American Lesbian Who Went Viral: Becky D.
Photo courtesy of Becky D.
written by Alya
The Queer-Caribbean experience is still a taboo topic. Caribbeans across the globe face the risk of direct harm for being a part of the LGBTQ+ community. With 770,000 followers on TikTok under the name @iambeckydee, influencer Becky Dundee is breaking down barriers by living her life as a proud Guyanese-American lesbian. Based in Atlanta, Georgia, Becky is an online comedian and personality that uses her growing platform to educate people on the realities of being queer and Caribbean.
When Becky started using TikTok, she didn't expect to hit internet stardom. When she accidentally left her account open to the public, her first comedic video about being a closeted Guyanese lesbian went viral on Twitter. The morning after she posted, she was shocked to see the overwhelmingly positive response to her joke about her sexuality. She didn't have Twitter at the time, but it was clear to Becky that a new opportunity was on the horizon for her to grow a community simply by being herself.
[Additional Read: Jason Jones: The LGBTQ+ Activist Breaking Ground in Trinidad and the United Kingdom]
Despite gaining a large online following, Becky still receives backlash from the Caribbean community online such as body shaming for her masculine appearance. Despite being a cisgender lesbian, Becky’s gender expression is the opposite of a patriarchal society’s definition of femininity. She unapologetically dresses in a non-feminine way. Insults about her appearance are constant.
“I sponsored [a Caribbean brand’s] tank top one time and then they reposted the video, not thinking much of it...a lot of people were bashing me. They said things like ‘he-man’, ‘anti-gyal’ and all this stuff.”
Becky’s content sometimes focuses on fitness, and she shares clips of herself at the gym. However, she wasn’t always so healthy. During her time in the Navy, she found out she was pre-diabetic. She then committed to getting and staying fit. The gym became a way to take care of her physical and mental health. Throughout her fitness journey, Becky has continued to receive hate for her masculine appearance, not being what people expect from a Guyanese woman.
Bulking, or the act of gaining muscle mass, is not often seen in women when it comes to online female fitness influencers. While Becky shares her life on social media, she strives to be herself regardless of whatever hate she may come across. The belief that influencers should expect to be bullied because of their public presence is something that Becky is against. She would rather see education be used as a way to eradicate ignorance.
Photo courtesy of Becky D.
Anti-LGBTQ+ beliefs are more rampant throughout the Caribbean, than they are in the U.S. These attitudes have fueled Becky's commitment to create a safe space for fellow queer Guyanese and West Indians online. Nonetheless, the influencer faces a real threat of sometimes feeling unsafe in Caribbean spaces in person because of her appearance.
“What if I look [masculine] and some dude just decides to throw something at me?....Or hit me?”
Through online platforms such as Facebook and Discord, she has created multiple spaces for people to come together and support one another through their shared experiences. Unfortunately, these online resources have at times been used as a targeting source for outing or exposing members by those who actively seek to harm the LGBTQ+ community. This is one example of how microaggressions can escalate into life threatening situations. It is not uncommon for Becky or others with online audiences to receive threats of physical harm. These struggles make it challenging for Becky to continue cultivating safe spaces online, but she is not slowing down any time soon.
Online bullying is a difficult part of being an influencer, on top of anti-LGBTQ+ sentiments in West Indian households. Like many West Indians, Becky has been cut off by multiple family members since coming out in 2020. Others continue to treat her as a stranger, despite being blood related. At family events such as her sister’s recent engagement party, relatives are commonly standoffish with the influencer —a reflection of their disapproval.
“I’m still your same niece, same daughter, same person. I just happen to not look like my sister who’s super feminine. I’m still the family clown. Nothing changes.”
Becky believes that traditional West Indian values such as protecting the family name from taboo topics perpetuate and enable anti-LGBTQ+ behaviors. This experience is something that others in her position have told her they have experienced as well. It’s common along with familial disdain for relatives who are queer. To deal with familial ostracization, Becky finds fulfillment in music, photography and fitness. All of these creative outlets help her mental state to be even stronger than her physical body. While she still struggles with familial tensions, therapy has been crucial to her living a healthy and happy life. Journaling also serves as a healthy outlet for her to express herself throughout her struggles. Regardless of sexual orientation she believes self-care and mental health is a necessity for everyone.
“My sexuality is not my identity.”
Unsurprisingly, Becky has impacted the lives of countless followers. She’s received messages for example from people in their 50’s thanking her for giving them the hope, the strength to leave loveless marriages and live authentically. Throughout all the ups and downs, Becky is just another 20-something trying to figure it all out, and she just happens to have an impactful message.. By spreading positivity and education, she serves as an advocate for the safe and fair treatment of all LGBTQ+ people. If there is one thing that Becky wants her followers to know it’s that despite all the hardship you might face, “you are not alone.”
To learn more about Becky D check out her social media. here.